Quiet Small Group? Read This!

We’ve all had them – the ‘How-in-creation-am-I-going-to-get-them-to-say-ANYTHING’ discussion session. You know, the ones where everyone is quiet, it feels awkward, and you wonder what to do next. Here are three ideas to help:

1 – Imagine they think you are an awesome leader!

Sometimes, when small group isn’t going so well, we are tempted to think it’s OUR fault; when, in reality, there are probably other things happening. Quiet small groups should not cause us to doubt ourselves as leaders. I want you to believe, deep down, that you are an awesome leader and the youth love you!

2 – Ask them to talk about anything

Let’s say your small group members just aren’t responding to the questions or the topic of the day. Would you rather spend the entire time trying to get them to discuss the questions (even though nobody is really into it) or would you rather spend a portion of the time talking about anything they want, and then spend the other portion in more spiritually-focused conversation? (Hint – the correct answer is B!)

To get them talking, it’s helpful to keep a list of questions in your back pocket. Questions like…

• What’s your favorite (fill in the blank)? 
• If you had $10 to spend on snacks at Sheetz, what would you buy? 
• Glad, Sad, Mad: I sometimes ask Gretta and Annie at dinner, “What made you glad/happy today?” and then I ask the same question about what made them sad or mad.

Amazing how much conversation can arise out of these three questions!

Also, please remember these three magic words for generating great conversation: TELL ME MORE. If someone shares something, follow it up with something like, “Tell me more about…”

3 – Ask students in the group for help.

A few days before you meet, ask one or two youth if they would prepare to share something during the group. Examples…

• “Tonight, I really want to go deep, can you help by sharing a story from your life about…?”
• “Tonight, we’re talking about…, do you think you could give an example of this from your own life?”
• “What do you think it would take to get everyone to share at least once tonight?”

It may take a few tries, but after asking a few times, the leaders in your group will take on a new role and will help the discussion immensely.

Let’s get ready for even more deep and meaningful conversations!

Much love,
Brad